Just a fair warning to all 35 (holy shit, there’s THIRTY FIVE of you now!) of my followers: I’m questionably sane. On a good day. So to help you along in life (and just in case all hell breaks loose and the freshmen take over or something, the afterlife we’ll build in Atlantis), here are some things that really really piss me off. So if you like your face attached to your body and that body not chopped into itty bitty pieces, you should probably read the list. Take notes, kiddies. AND TAME A LOOK, ITS IN A BOOK. READING RAINBOW!
Bitches and douchebags. You know who you are. Especially if you judge. What makes you so perfect?
Midterms. Why should we have to study the same subjects all over again for hours and hours and lose sleep over it just to take a two hour test that doesn’t even count towards the semester grade? And especially if you’re a teacher and you know perfectly well that I’m stressed to death over these midterms and I haven’t even fucking slept in 2 days and I’m sick and you still decide to give a freaking TEST 2 days before your own midterm.
Attention whores. You know those girls who post pictures on Facebook like “im sooooo fuglyyy eeeeww dont even look at me wahhh” and their pictures are edited the hell out of them and they aren’t even ugly, they’re just saying that to get attention. And people who cause drama. Get the hell away from me, I don’t want your freaking drama-itis.
White people who think they’re black. You are NOT channeling Michael freaking Jackson, you AREN’T a gangsta up in da hood yo. Pull your pants up from around your pale little ass, take off your 14K gold chains, and stand up straight. You live in a mostly white, upper middle class suburb where people drive minivans and go to their kids’ soccer games on the weekends. You don’t own a gun. You aren’t a gangster. You. Are. White.
Math. Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to take a whole bunch of numbers and throw some alphabet soup in there then tell you to conform to some extremely long and tedious formulas and that there can only be one right answer? All our lives, people have been telling us “Be different. Don’t do what everyone else is doing.” and what does that get us now? A B- in Algebra. And an intense pressure to conform.
Politics. Don’t get me wrong, I have some strong views of my own. Maybe I should change that to Politicians. They make promises and then break them, sell their souls to get in office and fuck things up, and take advantage of the average citizen. Let’s put down all the crap about Republicans and Democrats and this and that and just work together for the GREATER GOOD.
SOPA. You have no FUCKING right to take away our right to freedom of expression. The only people benefitting from this are already rich celebrities who don’t care if some teenager is posting their music on tumblr.
Cat haters. They’re cuddly and squishy and furry and lovable and awesome listeners so just shut up and buy a cat already cause obviously you’ve been living under a rock somewhere far far away where they don’t have cats and if you still don’t get a cat, maybe you should go back there.
The smell of fish. It makes me sick.
People who chew with their mouths open. You have lips for a reason. Use them!
People who constantly compliment themselves. I’m so skinny. My skins so good. my clothes are awesome. My eyes are so pretty. I love my makeup. My writing/art/blog/music/sport sooooo awesome yayyyy! We get it. You’re confident. Now go let the rest of us unconfident little potatoes crawl under a rock and continue finding things to improve about ourselves.
People in general. I hate people. I want to go live in a cave out in the middle of no where and stay there forever. It would be awesome.
