Look up at your URL. Go on, do it. “A Frightening Look Down The Rabbit Hole.” This pretty much sums up my life. Alice in Wonderland, just tumbling down.
You can call me Barbie or dumb blonde or any other stereotype and I guess I am. I want 3 kids, a loving husband, a house in the suburbs and a dog. Or a cat. They’re pretty magestic. With their gently swaying tails and cuddle-able furryness. I’m pretty much your totally average teenage girl. Except that I’m me. So I’m not normal at all.
They say not to judge a book by its cover but let’s be honest here, we all do that anyway. You see someone who doesn’t look/act/dress/think/speak/BE the way you think they should, and you automatically write them off. You aren’t going to look any further. I’m not perfect, I’ve done that too. But if people looked closer at me, they might like what they find.
Sure they might find a questionably sane, antisocial, computer addicted fashion nerd who spends her time wrapped up in a pink snuggie with her rainbow unicorn pillow pet (Killer McSprinkles, shout out to you!) reading Harry Potter and counting down to the midnight premier of the Hunger Games. And that is me, part of me anyway. I wear sweatpants at home like everyone else. I cry at the sound of rain. I have days when I’d rather crawl deeper under the covers than get up and face everyone.
But there’s also a side of me that not a lot of people get to see because it’s hard to show them. It’s the me you see on my Tumblr. It’s a girl who’s been through heartache and regrets and too many tears for too few years, but who came out stronger for it. It’s a girl who’d rather see the world through the lense of a camera because then she can see things however she wants. It’s a girl who not only obsessively follows fashion blogs, but sketches and sews her fingers off to practice making clothes so that one day she can get out of here. It’s a girl who can’t go 10 minutes without music- or her friends. It’s a girl who isn’t a good friend but tries to be, has low self confidence but pretends she doesn’t, works her ass off for the grades she has. It’s a girl who wishes she was a dancer, whose favorite color is pink, and who doesn’t believe in love. It’s a girl who doesn’t sleep at night because her brain just won’t shut off. It’s a girl with a poetic tendancy (you should see my diary) and imagination to spare. It’s me.
So instead of wasting that girl out in the real world on people who could care less, I got a Tumblr and all these amazing followers. And I come on here during school, at 3 am, on the bus, whenever. Some of it (mostly the fashion) is reblogged but the photography’s mine. It’s my life in freefall. It’s a frightening look down the rabbit hole.
